at last sch has ended, on a tuesday no less, with two papers on tt day. BUT, on Jour-J itself, i HAD to forget to switch on my alarm clock (which was the first time ever), and that resulted in me waking up at 0930 instead of 0630. never scrambled so quickly before, and was out in less than 15 mins instead of the usual 1/2 hr. after a mad rush to sch; i was on time for the second paper. thankfully... the first was mercifully administered after the second, but only after some sheepish explanation. being a single student helps too haha.

and with that, im on hols now!! altho its only for a mere 2 weeks, i have not felt so elated over sch breaks. not for a long long time. sec sch and jc ones were greeted with jaded nonchalance, and even my ORD was underwhelming. just went back to S1 to collect IC and some other stuff. without even the slightest modicum of excitement or jubilance.

it only hit me recently that i've been studying here for ~3 months, and that im happier now. i notice how my french varies with the person im talking to. impatient, intimidating teachers and clsmates who speak slang laced with thick french accents get to witness my half-baked french, while with others, generally people whom i feel more comfy with, i speak with more confidence. i wonder when i would be able to speak fully-fledged french. and i realise that my memory,diligence and discipline were left behind in spore. gone are the days where i can just rattle the points away or sit down and mug conscientiously. now procrastination and dilly-dallying took its place. i wld take ages just to settle down to study, only to get distracted by the magazine/my music box and there i wld be, either reading stuff other than my work or turning the handle of e music box like some prat, willing myself to stop after the 3rd round but ending up stopping only after the umpteenth one. and so my results could be more spectacular... got to buck up. the pedagogic approach here is so different, they throw definitions of theorems at you and then you're off to solving exam questions. what is this?? and they still have the cheek to sigh non-stop when i couldnt solve the whole question...grrgh. i really miss spore's spoon-feeding, whereby theres a nice little intro to set ur cogs in motion, plenty of explanations to oil ur wheels and progressive examples to ignite the spark plug. worse, studying in french seems to make the facts more impenetrable. portent of a tough ride ahead. come jan, i wld have to choose my next school to go to, which region to go to, and the course i wanna take. just thinking of it makes me wanna space out. meanwhile, save for the sporeans, the social landscape remains lamentable and needs to be sculpted further. like the french said, "ça va venir", which means 'it would come', but come when??? their 'take-it-easy, easy-come-easy-go ' mentality doesnt really go down well with everything, does it?

some people yearn so much to study overseas. i was like that too before, but now, i cant help but wonder if i would have chosen another path given this hindsight. i acknowledge the boons of studying overseas, what with being exposed to a different culture, becoming stronger in person, gaining independence blah blah. and with a recent short weekend trip to strasbourg and colmar in eastern france, freiburg in germany and basel and biel in switzerland, studying in e heart of europe has never been better. but all these could have been easily done and gained with a SEP isnt it? a semester or two would suffice to give you the opportunities to travel (albeit covering each place superficially only), see the world beyond the microcosm of spore and feel what its like to study overseas; and all this while u can play so hard with not much concern over your studies. moreover the duration isnt long enough to set u pining away for home or friends. its quite the best of both worlds, and chances are you wld be so happy overseas you dread going back home. students in spore wld beg to differ, but for all that studying overseas is worth, nothing beats going back spore at the end of the day, esp once the initial hype and thrill die down... just have your fair share of fun and wat-not during 1/2-semester sejour overseas and then go home. all that being said, human beings are never satisfied with wat they have, pastures will forever be greener on the other side of the fence; and so to whoever's on e cusp of making such a huge decision, i say deliberate long and hard.. follow your heart and dun jump on the bandwagon just because.

2005 seems to be such a short yr, with the first 3 months spent vegetating thru out the rest of NSF liability, followed by bumming around and getaways with platoon mates, on to much revelry with e dsta bunch and finally getting down to serious studies. my beliefs have changed, and paradigm shifts have occurred as a result of the many phantasmagorias of highlights and downs, but all that dun seem to matter now. i'd just live for the present. 2006 looks all set to start on the right note. i would be shifting to another residence on 2nd jan, this time with a fridge and kitchenette,wc and shower, and internet access all in my own room!! and the icing on the cake is that the rent might even be lower than my present one!!! *waves bye to my present shithole*

ok, this is abrupt but it looks like the sch com lab needs to be closed now, so in all gd festive cheer, here's wishing everyone a merry xmas and a happy new yr! =)