this post isnt gonna be a happy one; id be griping and ranting non-stop so those who arent interested read no further. people who are gonna downplay my complaints here can go www.flykite.com. it has been more than 2 weeks since i last blogged, and while there are certainly occasions that marked the 'crests' of this 'undulating' period, they're really rare. the doldrums, on the other hand, seem to be the status quo of the day.
now, to those people who are studying overseas in the UK, US, or Australia, please do count your lucky stars if you have firm friends, particularly singaporeans, around u. your workload might be horribly heavy, and ur academics may be in the shittiest state ever in ur whole life; or hell, your room-mate may stink to high-heavens, and the toilet is dirty like chibong, but remember: if you have friends to hang around with, be it during meal times, or in sch, or to go out with, be goddamn grateful! for the very presence of friends helps to temper the storms of overseas studies, and simply, render the ride smoother and more meaningful. those who beg to differ can go away. youre probably one of those that like to oppose whatever others say.
im fully aware of wat im in for when i came over here, and believe me, im handling the plunge as well as i could. im revising my work whenever i can, and flipping thru the dictionary ever so often for all the bloody technical terms and jargons even my usual neatness fails to prevent dog-ears from forming in it. i listen to the french radio everyday and while aural comprehension and oral expression have improved, its all still in vain as besides being able to converse with the ppl here comfortably, wat i need at the end of the day is still a constant grp of kakis i can hang out with. you may very well say that ive chosen this path and so ive to stick to it. grin and bear it. trust me, come over here and and i'd see how u bear it. wats the point of being in paris when im mostly alone? fancy going to restaurants of cafes alone? what about a stroll by the seine? exploring the catacombs? the latin quarters? the royal palais? being the newest sporean in france sucks at times, most of the others have already seen most of the sights, and are less inclined towards visiting them again.
in sch, fortunately, ive managed to find a handful of people in my class whom i can seek out when i first enter the lecture theatre, whom i can idle-chatter on msn with and even go out occasionally with. but pray tell, who wld u gravitate towards or inevitably flock to when ure in need of help/bored/feeling chatty and wanna joke around with someone? certainly not that unbearable jock or that sunkissed girl from houston. and eew, that freckled-face ass whos so irritating!?!? and that proud japanese bitch? haha thanks but no thanks. u get my drift. perhaps its an innate nature of us humans to tend to group together by homogeneity. regardless of how well u integrate in with society anywhere, unless u are 100% capable of assimilating into the whole culture and are able to partake of their mentality and mores, chances are you wld stick out like a sore thumb, and probably feel like one too from time to time. and lets see how much small talk or solitude you can tahan before you get really sick of it.
in my residence, ive managed to find an italian girl who i always cook with. now, in all fairness, im very happy to have someone to cook with, somehow it just feels better to cook with someone than alone. but, herein lies the problem. shes over-punctilious about every single thing, and thats when i really feel like smacking her real hard. she can go on bobbing her head and spewing strings of unintelliglible italian words at me, i dun care. my dear italia girl, i know pasta and accompanying sauces are your fields of expertise, so by all means go ahead and instruct me how to go about mixing and cooking them. but, i draw the line when u get annoyed that i stir the goddamn pot of pasta in the exact manner you instructed me to! if u wanna do all the cooking, fine by me. and you stupid pathophobe, im as fussy over cleanliness as you are, so if you insist on doing the dishes, go ahead. id just sit and eat and watch and smile while you do the dishes. and if i wanna eat my vegetables and meat along with the pasta, its my blardy business, buzz off! i dun give a damn about how italians wld raise their eyebrows if i eat their beloved pasta/pizza alongside with other dishes. dominatrix indeed. thankfully, i dun cook much or else id probably go mad soon.
i tell myself that all wld get better. but seriously it wld be best if there were more sporeans here. its ok even if i stick around with sporeans whole day long, hang out with them during lessons and in my free time and when hols come, whee! go traveling together. its ok not to mix around with the caucasians and natives that much. the friendships forged wld stagnate at some superficial level anyway as compared to those with fellow sporeans. id content with just touring around, looking at all the attractions and having fun, and then leave when its time to leave, go back to spore contended with my sejour overseas as a student-tourist.
and the ppl back in spore, i share your pains and agonies over the exams and all else, so take heart! i face them here too and this time its worse as im all alone, thus when i encounter difficulties, i dun have 'ready access' to ppl who can help, and theres no home to go to at the end of the week/everyday for that matter. hot weather is bad at times, but at least it isnt painful! and the food, language, friends and all else that ive overlooked before i came over! dun take them for granted. this winter period is really awful. my skin cracks and bleeds like hell above the knuckles despite slathering loads of moisturising lotion and oil. and when the wind blows, its as if ure asphyxiating from all the cold air that gets trapped in your throat and threatened not to go down. cheeks get numbed and ears hurt. fingers bend as if you have arthritis and your toes feel like trotters. and when alls so freaking cold its as if your most important bits wld just freeze and drop off... add to that being lonely and tackling impossible maths, thats when you really feel like you could just die..
god speed my return.
Raunchy!!! I like!! haha :)
