today officially marks the last day of work at OVA. am somewhat relieved, yet i feel as if there will be something missing from tomorrow onwards. gone are the days of freedom, idle surfing and chats on MSN whole day long, in place will be hours of bumming around at home. what am i gonna do everyday besides tuition? its the very same feeling as that of having ORD-ed with months ahead without a concrete plan/schedule; feels so aimless. I'm such a drifter in life now.

actually, im well aware that there's a lot to be done ,eg revision of A level physics, mathematics and chemistry as well as french. i can also practise the violin again after months of letting it collect dust; read all the good fiction books, exercise, watch all the dvds and tv programs i want, go out and have fun... etc. but somehow i dun really feel like it, just dun have any mood to do anything. i shall try to work up myself into a more enthusiastic person who feels the zest of life. yeah rite... something tells me that im gonna be a very restless retiree in 50 years' time.

A student just greeted me today, how silly of him. I dun look exactly like a teacher do I? I wore jeans and have dyed, spiked-up hair; so the lower-sec boy must have been blind. Nonetheless, it feels quite good to be greeted, haha . No wonder those big shots at SAF are always so hard- up to be greeted; on one hand it emphasises the disparity in rank and demonstrates the respect one has to show to one's superiors, on the other, it just feels shiok. Nothing more, yet those people can transform it into some heinous crime that warrants extras......

I got another slight shock later on that day. I went to the canteen for lunch and decided to patronise this stall that I've not tried before. The first thing the woman said was " xiao di, ni cong zhong guo lai de ah? " That roughly translates into " boy, you're from China ah? " Maybe I should not have been so adventurous. I certainly do not mean to discriminate against myself and my race, but being mistaken for a China-born Chinese isn't very flattering. Which part of my face reminds her of a cheenapiang PRC citizen? Thank goodness this was the first time, and it better be the last. In sec school, people tend to comment that I dun look Chinese because of my features; in JC, I have people telling me I look Indonesian (wth?!?!!??!) , I really wonder what's in store for me in university and at the work-place... Funny how people are inclined to 'compartmentalise' looks under various countries, myself included. How nice if we can alter our looks everyday, or better still, alter other people's looks as and when we feel like it.

E.g, if this stupid biatch just pissed me off, I'll swop her pearlie whites with teeth of a llama, and reduce those bambi-eyes of hers to coinslot-size openings. Tadaa!! From a pretty woman to a plain Jane. Serves you right. BUT, if you make feel so happy, I'll bestow upon you all the best possible facial structures and features you have always dreamed of! Guys will have gaunt faces transformed into perfectly-sculpted ones, with the right contours and all. Pimply and oily complexion will be gone forever, and moisturised healthy skin with nary a scar will be the order of the day. Nose bridge fixed, nostrils reshaped, eyes widened and set deeper, cheekbones raised,eyebrows plucked, ears resized and pulled back, new lips and new teeth...... The list is endless. Actually, I think the results would be very scary.... hahaha

Am gonna have a buffet dinner tomorrow thanks to JC!!! Happy 21st Birthday!!! YAy, thanks for the treat, dun worry, we'll make sure its money well-spent!! Today was so tiring. Did a 400m sprint just to avoid the sudden downpour argh... Must really get an umbrella soon, and I'm gonna hit the sack now... flat out

Where on the spectrum of stupidity do you lie? sic

People are really stupid. At times I regret making a friend like you. Life can be quite meaningless at times...

haha went to cut my hair today at chapter 2 near bugis village with Wk, it was quite fun to cut at a salon after 2 years plus of cutting at the barber in camp or at the one a few blocks away. Cutting in camp was very cheap, a mere $3 bucks; but how good you look depends on the barber, who's quite inconsistent all the time. Catch him when he's at his peak and you would look decent. For really bad haircuts, I remember having to wet my hair every now and then to make it look better in camp, and when outside I have no choice but to use mousse/gel to style it up. And as for cutting at the barber near my place, the standard is much better and I can lie about my age haha, I would usually say I'm still a student so as to get a cheaper rate. So cheapskate now that I think of it, but who cares? And yes, back to my haircut today, it was so cheap!!!! its only 20 bucks after a 20% discount since we cut before 2pm. It feels good to cut at a salon, I especially like the rinsing-of-hair part and the whole experience really makes you feel more 'pampered' in some way right? Washing of hair was very ticklish and I had to bite my lips to prevent myself from grinning too obviously, wonder what the woman will think if she sees me smiling like some fool while having my hair washed. And when the hairdresser wrapped a towel round my hair after it was washed, I really found it immensely funny. I can't imagine how I looked while walking back from the basin to my seat and when I looked into the mirror, I was right- I looked absolutely stupid!! haha

Anyway, Priscillia, the hairdresser did quite a good job, though the styling of hair would be a chore. I had asked her earlier if it were possible for me to have a style that doesn't require much maintenance, given that most of the time I couldn't really be bothered to wax/gel it but she said that short hair requires some additional effort, and that I have to agree with. Looks like I have to wake up earlier/ allocate a few minutes to styling my hair from now on. I have no choice! I look really weird now after I washed my hair and dried it. It's thin, sparse, and sticks out in all directions. No way am I going to go out in this state haha. Am gonna dye my hair later this week, should be quite fun. Afterall, it was two long years of plain boring short black hair. Actually nope, I recall dying my hair at the end of last year, I dunno what got into me that time but I figured that if I were to leave the dye on for a shorter period of time, the colour wouldn't be that strong. I was very very wrong. Even under normal lighting I could tell that the colour was far too obvious. I decided to act as if nothing's changed when I returned to camp after block leave. Major mistake. My stupid PS and other seargents spotted it when I had company PT in the evening. I was like 'oh no.... I'm gonna sign extras for this!!!!' When I'm outfield I had no choice but to tahan the heat and keep my helmet or jockey cap on while others were happily airing their sweaty heads. I simply could not risk having any CO/OC/PSOs busting me right in the middle of outfield. It would be a double blow, having to endure the remaining outfield period with the thoughts of doing extras on weekends....eek. Thank goodness nothing happened ( except for the time when my company's OC spotted it from the second floor when I was doing saikang on the first), but other than that reminder to go something about it before I get into trouble, I was left alone. If I'm not wrong I managed to keep my dyed hair for about a month before cutting it very short and dying it black TWICE so as to make sure I would not get into trouble. The first black dye I bought slowly faded and I had no choice but to dye it again since my battalion has this stupid practice of RSM/CSM checking all our hair once in a while and there was an impending one coming up.

And I suddenly remembered another incident, this time in VJC. I dyed my hair in JC2 but no one spotted it till that fateful day. I think it was one of those slack days where the lessons were quite useless so I decided to go to the library, along with a few others to do my own stuff instead of attending lessons. I slacked the whole morning away in the library and decided to go home at about 11.30am. Now, back then in VJC ( dunno about now ), students were allowed to leave school only after 12.40pm on a normal school day, so officially I was not supposed to go home but I figured so many students have managed to get out of school even at 9/10 plus before so it should be fine . As luck, or rather, bad luck would have it, I was wrong. While on my way out, I heard a loud shout from behind " Stop walking the two of you!!!! " I knew then that I 'm gonna be dead meat as I recognised the voice as that of Mr Tan YH. That idiot has always been quite a fierce disciplinarian, even though he's only a PE teacher. My friend and I turned around to see him walking briskly towards us. He then asked whether we knew what time it was and what lessons we were supposed to be attending. I forgot what answers we gave but the exciting part's coming up. He told my friend to walk back to school ( even though we WERE still within the school compound) but not me. After my friend had gone , he became very fierce and asked loudly " I give you one last chance, you better tell me what the real colour of your hair is , or else.... " With that ominous warning ringing in my head even though it wasn't spelled out, I said "black". I was then told me to go dye it back and meet him at his desk the next day during recess. I have no choice but to ask him to postpone it till the following week since there's common tests coming out around that period. Thankfully he agreed, but I didn't dye it back black haha ,I cut it really short and gelled it on that day I reported to him!!! haha gelling hair makes it look darker and he was satisfied.

Ah...its always so fun and thrilling to be doing something like that, 'dangerous' it may be,but the excitement makes up for it, and I feel triumphant if I know I manage to 'pull it off' for some time before going back to normal...

I wonder why the title of the posts cannot be seen, hmm... Anyway this post was supposed to be done last nite but MSN 7.0 was causing a lot of problems, it's so unstable and I had to sign in and out countless times!!!Really Murder, She Wrote. Was mighty pissed yesterday. Work wasnt smooth at all when dear Mr Old Arrogant Fart (Oaf) decided to call to check on things. I was really very irritated with him. The way he asked questions more than infuriated me. And to every question I answered, he would say " no no no, that should not be the way... you should..." or something along that line, making me feel like some incompetent piece of shit; I can really imagine him shaking his head like some dork and thinking that I'm very incapable at the other end of the line. Would very much like to shoot him point-blank on the spot when he spoke so disparagingly to me. Whats the bloody problem with him man? Does he have no EQ at all? Being an adult doesnt give you any right to belittle me, and if you think that I'm not good enough, fire me then! I'm more than happy to quit this job. Its not as if I'm getting big bucks by the hour. Pay peanuts still expect so much, asshole. I did a lot of stuff actually and mostly at my own initiative and discretion too. But this oaf sees nothing at all!!! I'm so freaking mad but I can only roll my eyes up and down furiously and curse him silently, feels so unsatisfying. What I would dearly like to do is to holler at him down the line, wah, surely feel very shiok. That disgruntled twerp doesn't check his email and thus doesn't help faciliate things, but when told that, oaffy skilfully switched the topic to my last day of work.

Stunner of the day: It would be responsible for me to find someone to replace me before I go. I'm like really shocked at that. Isn't it their responsiblity to get someone on their own? Why should I be involved in the recruitment? I've done my bit and I'm more than happy to take my leave. Perhaps if I had a happier stint here I would consider; but bearing oaffy in mind, thanks but no thanks. Yes, its all about service to school and all, but seriously, no one in his right mind would prioritise OVA over all else, unless he's a retiree and a hardc0re Victorian, but surely loyalty to a school wouldnt be that long-lasting, get my drift? You want more Victorians to join OVA, fine, I'll try my best but go eat dirt if you think I can work wonders. Open your slitty eyes, rub out the eye dirt and take in what's around you. Do not deceive yourself. The OVA is in shambles. For all the talk thats been done through and through, nothing concrete is done yet,so shut up your big orifice and DO something about it. For one, get a phone. I can only make this number of calls on my handphone and unless you wanna pay my subscription you can jolly well forget about asking me to make any more calls. And there needs to be a fundamental change in the structure of OVA. You old fogeys think you're damn smart at brainstorming for ideas to recruit members. Pardon me while I snigger silently at your ridiculous ideas. Firstly, to inject new blood into OVA, you need something that attracts people. And a life-membership fee of $100 bucks is gonna put people off, so why not wait till all members are graduates first before collecting it? By then we would have been more financially-secured, and you must understand that recruiting us when we were freshly out from VJ or VS is imperative as chances are our fervour/enthusiasm in joining OVA would wane as the years pass by. So why not postpone the fee collection? And in the meantime,do organise activities that are suitable for all ages,sizes, and gender. Golf tournaments and wine-tasting evenings only cater to a few, fools. Haven't you old folks been in Singapore long enough? Surely you should know that when there's freebies and food,you have throngs of Singaporeans waiting to lap it all up? Voila! you have a winning combination, throw in some mass-dance sessions, arrange for teachers to mingle with the crowd, have performances that attract and entertain people and most will be mollified. There's certainly no pleasing all, and one more thing: since fee collection is postponed, one of you guys can open up your wallets and be magnanimous. I've sat through 3 meetings and you people have talked so much but did so little. Talk is indeed cheap, do come up with some money first; afterall, most of you guys are directors, businessmen, or lawyers. Dun so niao, once the fee's collected, you'll have your money back.

The later part of the day was slightly better, only to be ruined by MSN a few hours later. But that's not important. The good thing was that I was so emotionally worn that I had a really good sleep.

Woke up this morning to do some exercises, end up all done in vain. Simply because I overate at Ichiban. My goodness... the glorious food can really perk me up anytime of the day. They have SO MUCH to offer I just ate till I had a slight problem walking straight after that; had to bend over slightly haha. Lemme see, I ate alot of sashimi, tempura, sushi, unagi and all the other katsu/fried stuff, couldnt remember all the names. My eyes were literally popping out at the display. I stuffed myself with alot of cute mini pastries/cakes too, and had 3 cups of green tea ice-cream. On top of that, I had about 5 cups of ice-lemon tea to 'accompany' my fried noodles, the paper pot thing that was horrid btw, and some stir-fried meat. Hmm that should be all, and in case you people think I'm such a pig, you should look at Ju. She ate almost as much as me haha,it just shows that when u have good food and are hungry, you're a bottomless pit. Oh, before that we went for ktv and played DDR. haha it was very fun,was quite a bit of a work-out especially the last stage. Very long never play already so am lousier and can feel my psycho-motor skills getting more retarded.

And yes, my day has to be blighted again by another idiot, this time on the MRT train. Wah, this goon's really good man, dunno what to say. The train was not too crowded, no seats but there's only 1 line of people standing in the middle to hold onto the poles/handles. I was standing and when I reached this station, Mr Obnoxious boarded the train. Now, there's quite a lot of space on both sides of me where I stand and you know what? Mr not-shy came right in front of me and stood there!!! I was quite affronted at first because its really weird if you have sufficient standing room on both sides of you and yet a person comes to stand right in front of you, holding the handle beside the one you're holding and facing you right in the face. I promptly looked at the side and was wondering what the hell he was doing.Cant he choose to stand somewhere else?
And all this while he was vigorously chewing gum and blowing bubbles right in front of me,I was really flabbergasted. It's not exactly normal behaviour rite? Btw he really looked like a xialan jock with his protruding chin and spiked-up hair,complete with Oakley glasses. If he thinks he' s cool, kkaaa---PUUUII!!! Wah, at times really can't stand taking public transport, every ride is a experience, and make that a bad one most of the time!

Hmm, am pretty tired now, almost 3. Lids are drooping, lids are drooping...

it has been more than a week since i last posted here i think. gdness such a long time... now i understand why some people dun blog all the time. you can really run out of things to blog about, and i think i'm gonna do a terrific job here talking about nothing in particular and just spewing rubbish all the way. hah i shall just blog for the sake of making it less 'sparse'. pathetic me am struggling so much with the html just so that i can have a song playing and i cant even do it. argh!!!! this blog is gonna be the most plain blog ever until it-challenged me gets some brushing up on skills. as for now, i cant even be bothered to type properly with capital i's and all. feeling quite happy tonite, wonder why. realised that i've a lot of mood swings nowadays, can be pretty annoying when you realise that you're down and can do little about it. somehow i think i miss NS a lot, particularly the company of the people in my platoon. at least there was something to preoccupy my mind and time then, compared to now where everything seems to crawl... tuition,work, eat,sleep,play, surf, go out etc, not to mention the lack of exercise... dun get me started. on the other hand its quite relaxing actually; but somehow it still doesnt feel right. its such a contrast to jc life where u have to juggle ccas with studies and family and frenz and personal time, while now i have so much time that im complaining...

anyway last week was pretty ok till i fell sick. it was simply too sickening for words, pun not intended . i really think i need to get a foldable/collapsible umbrella ( whats the proper name for it anyway) soon, the freaking weather is so wet nowadays theres no telling when you would be caught outside without shelter so its better to be safe than sorry. haha anyway last thursday i went to ps for lunch and watched spanglish ( i think its quite a nice film,tea leoni really looks fantastic at her age and paz vega is really really pretty. theres smth abt hispanic ppl's look dun u think? for one they have really nice golden-brown skin and their eyes are large, deep-set and can be so emotive they dun have to talk to convey what they wanna say... and thats just the eyes alone... anyway i digress ), after which i was supposed to meet a few friends for swimming. i was already running late and thus decided to walk to jc's house from the mrt even tho it was rainign quite heavily.worse thing no bus to his house somemore. smart choice lah, kenna drenched until can style hair just by running fingers through them. was shivering like some idiot when i finally reached his place. should have waited for the rain to abate first, damn... ended up rushing for nothing, some people can be late for an hour and smile it off like its nothing and no apologies whatsoeva somemore, wah, take my hat off to them lah, macham like queen of england or smth.

i remember congratulating myself while walking in the rain that luckily i was too lazy to wear shoes that morning,as my sandals were soaked to the core. turned out that perhaps wearing shoes wld have been a better choice. given the pouring rain, the others can go work out in the gym while i cant coz of inappropriate shoe attire.gggrrhhhh!!!! the rain stopped abt an hour later and i swam; and i think thats what caused me to fall ill.its so smart of me lah, catch a cold already still swim, but i was thinking that it would have been such a waste to make a trip all the way just to see the others gleefully do weights/run on the threadmill in a lush air-con gym and having them wave at me idiotically and smiling like fools really made me feel like doing smth productive ( read : swimming ), yet destructive in the end, ah, how stupid... not to mention that due to me skipping lunch earlier that day, i pigged out on char kway teow, wan ton mee and hot fudge sundae for dinner; coupled with a 5-hour chat on the phone later that nite till 3am in the morning and tadaa, full-blown sore throat with flu and fever. i could have kicked myself for being so dumb. usually i make sure i dun eat too heaty food lest i get a sore throat ( had tonsilitis since i was awarded in hospital last yr so throats exceptionally senstive) but was too hungry to think abt it during dinner.

anyhow im as gd as new today!!! haha. praise god man. by his stripes we are healed!!! and oh, im going to hongkong/shenzhen in may!!!! yay so happy!!! went to chinatown yesterday to recce, nearly fainted from pure exhaustion as was still slightly ill. went to at least 20 tour agencies before finally settling on the last one that we went to. 476 bucks for 5days4 nites, free and easy, is it a gd deal?? haha the rest of the agencies quoted at least 520 and above... anyway its late ,gonna sleep now...