am finally back in france, and once again, with renewed and exaggerated tortured-soul angst to draw on (as a
chère pote puts it so aptly hah), i have an impetus to blog now. no prizes for guessing why im blogging at this time of the nite again- im waiting for my hair to dry lol. anyway, to you painfully few secret voyeurs who have
faithfully foolishly followed this series of mostly-banal verbal diarrhoea (all without leaving a trace), i thank you for your patience. i can foresee that for this academic year, this blog will be nothing short of a treasure trove full of despondent articles. how..appealing hah. still, i must clarify that most of them are not at all spurious.
anyhow, a big thank you goes out to those who had bothered to come send me off. to T and secret-sharer especially, i really appreciate the effort taken. considering that this is my 3rd year, i seriously can't be bothered with send-offs and all that jazz. still, it was a sweet gesture tt really pleased me. =) and so the flight was great, there was ample space, and even though i cldnt get those sacred seats ive always loved, i still managed to stretch my legs quite a bit in that aisle seat of mine. e krisworld program was fantastic, there were so many gd movies i wanna watch, but i only caught 3 of it, as i caught forty winks in between them too. thankfully i had the foresight to get some sleep, else i wld have been even more flat out last nite. anyway, a stray thought just crossed my mind-if only we could club mid-flight, that wld be beyond awesome! it's definitely not feasible of coz, but still its quite an entertaining thought, albeit a very stupid one haha. imagine what tricks an errant air stewardess high on alcohol cld pull in the cockpit with the pilot. grinz. goes to show how much i miss clubbing, and all the other wednesday nite jaunts i cld have gone for if not for this annoying thing called 'school'. * grrh. think delayed gratification.*
on a more sober note, re-settling in is terrible. it might be my 3rd year already, but it doesnt make me any less vulnerable to those emotional turbulences i face from time to time. and being alone seems to make me more given to histrionics. i feel like i'm languishing everytime i'm free and my mind starts wandering towards friends and family back home. and theres a continual sense of foreboding and gloom in everything imminent this year. i really hope this feeling will go away soon enough. i dun wanna start sch with such an unhealthy mindset, yet i think all of it is due to the upcoming academic burden and the game of socialising. its such a stark contrast from just a few weeks ago, when i got to meet new ppl, 'feel the vibes' when interacting with them and start gravitating towards those who have a common wavelength. here, my lack of confidence and fear make me slightly socially impaired, and i hate that. sigh, i guess ive to work on it.
my bed's beckoning to me now. loads of administrative stuff to settle tmr. and i need to start shopping for a cabinet. just
inherited about 25 guide books to help supplement my notes for this final year, and they are all lying around in plastic bags begging to be neatly displayed on shelves. sigh. i cld pass out faster than the speed of light at the sight of them. and id better start reading the manual for my new phone. just tis afternoon i was wearing my socks and i swore my phone 'spoke to me'. there was a beep sound and then this gruffy male voice spoke for about 3 seconds. it cld have been a divine message from up above lol, but whatever it was it was totally unintelligible. i was startled at first, and then i checked my phone. it had to come from it as i felt the vibration during the beep; but when i took it out to check, there was nothing displayed. i checked for any reminders, voice alerts and any other crap that cld have possibly triggered the 'prophecy'. the search yielded nothing. the hunt shall continue tomorrow, and may i muster the discipline to upload pictures taken from my phone, and in the event that i blog, post them.
zonking out.