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joke

lunch break. surfing in laboratory block. checked mail. received a forwarded joke. funny as hell, inappropriate pun fully intended. copy and paste=>new blog entry in just 1 min. enjoy!

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT (this was just too funny not to
share)


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
joke - Tuesday, January 30, 2007 -

voilà!

at long last, this retarded ISP of mine allowed me to upload pics. sadly, i can only upload some. gah, looks like i wld have to go over to a friend's place to upload the rest. gosh this residence's ISP is so mind-numbingly dumb and restrictive it hurts just to think of it. i realised i took over 500 pics on my spain and portugal trip. plus the 200 odd pics i took in UK and paris, there are 800+ pics clogging up precious disk space, which cld have been 2+ GB better used for storing movies/lost/prison break/desperate instead of pics.. thank gdness i dun set my camera to a super-high resolution mode when taking pics. i really need to get cracking on uploading all of them fast, as well as getting those spain and portugal pics from pam. anyway, here are some of the more interesting pics. have filtered it down to abt 50 at most, and this first post wld have some random ones as not all the pics are with me. anyhow, thats a staggering 90% reduction, which means that ive taken a lot of boliao pics, tho looking back at some of them now does make me luff, heh. blogger seems to upload the pics in a haphazard manner, at times it's back to front, at times it's all jumbled. as such, i think i shall just comment a little on some of them. its too bothersome to rearrange all of them chronologically.



erik with his danish friends and i at a café having desperados and beaujolais wine. this was taken when he came to paris to visit some friends. btw, that was e fateful nite i blogged as yati incarnate upon my returning home.



tim and I in oxford! oxford has such a beautiful blend of old and new, sure beats cambridge flat! and yes, TIM TAY, are u confirmed coming to paris this easter? hurry come!



at king's cross station in london with the harry potter trolley



bibi, me, and cheryl. taken last september. loved it when cheryl came to paris to 2 months for her dunno wat bio-genetics research. it was pure hedonism every wkend haha.



cheryl and moi, at an italian restaurant. gosh this girl loves food more than i do. it was really quite scary to see the way she hunted down good food. the 2 months when she was here was perfect bliss, every wkend was spent walking around paris, soaking in the sights and sounds of e city, as well as trawling thru guides and finding the restaurants haha.

and now for spain.



'pamela' watching tv in our hotel room in barcelona.

.

moi taking a pic of e toilet. it was a 3 star one but was good enough for me. the toilet was spanking clean, and the room was more than decent by my standards. absolutely perfect. i think i led the high life for this trip haha, imagine flying 7 times in total, 2 of them being transit flights; as well as staying in hotels instead of hostels, and thus we didnt have to share toilets with others at all! little wonder therefore that i spent a bomb.





the 1st pic was taken with the mirador de colom rising majestically behind me. the column marks the southern end of La Rambla (above), the most happening touristic artery in barcelona. this street is a colourful smorgasbord of buskers, food, noise and art that u guys must definitely see for urselves when u go to barcelona.



doesnt the weather look awesome here at the barcelona port? in winter no less.



this reminds me of that FINDING NEMO scene with all the seagulls making that din.




e FC barcelona stadium. sure looks as lousy as our national stadium.



e megastore which was quite interesting. they even have bedroom slippers, pyjamas, and umbrellas with e FC name emblazoned on it.



what caught my attention though, was the above 'attraction': ppl standing in front of a blue screen to have their mug shots taken and superimposed beside their fav soccer stars.



asian boy: look at me!!! im beside ronaldinho!!! omg im so thrilled i can faint. nvm that the colours on him and the stadium look faded, nvm e fact that my fav idol has the worst teeth in the world, whats matters most is that ive only forked out 15 euros for this picture and it looks soo real!!!

tweeze-sign woman: hey there biatches! come envy me! i have arms around my dear ronnie, and look at him in that bandana!! doesnt he look soo cute?? here's a big victory sign to you girls for not being able to pose with him haha!

girl in pink in pic at bottom right: hooray!! we've won the trophy and they've allowed a young irritating tot like me to come onto the pitch to cheer with them!! yippee!!

i was then harshly told to keep my camera away, and so i gleefully went into the megastore where i next saw this:



g-strings! wow. their marketing strategy even extends into the lingerie market. maybe they shld start selling underwear worn by the soccer players themselves. post-match of coz. soggy and wet in sweat. yummy for some fans im sure.






one of gaudi's buildings in barce. manueline and gaudian architecture are found exclusively in barcelona i think . it was quite refreshing for a while, tho i think i still prefer e victorian and gothic styles found here in paris.



view of barce from atop parc guëll, a park which gaudi designed.



plaza catalunya, the very central point of barcelona.






parc guëll.



uve guessed it! more gaudi houses. dun they remind u of hansel and gretel?



i cldnt figure out wat the fascination was with this gaudi creature. yet people were queuing and were so eager to take pics with it. i gladly snapped a pic of this ugly reptile and some fools who posed adoringly with it.



place reial, one of the nicer squares in barcelona designed by antonio gaudi. pam, who was one of my 2 kakis for this trip, mused that the eng word 'gaudy' must have been derived from his name as his architecture is indeed quite gaudy.



this is rather out of point but im still going ahead with it. i think hanging that spastic santa out there gives me e creeps instead of adding festive cheer to xmas. ive seen it in paris and in barcelona and have always wondered why ppl actually buy them. i can imagine that ugly midget come to life at nite, climb over the balcony into my place and then raid everything beneath the xmas tree. i wld enter the living room, only to see the scruffy thing getting himself tangled with all the tinsel, upon which i wld promptly rush and bowl him over before throwing him over the balcony back to where he belongs.



in some park in barcelona. isnt this quite a romantic spot to kiss?



shit! kenna caught.



some black rice paella, cant rem e name. saw it on the menu and cajoled eric to take it just so i can try haha. it actually tasted quite good, lucky for him. obviously i stuck to a safer choice: seafood paella, which had quite a few big succulent prawns that made pam and eric jealous haha. i dug in before i realised ive not taken a pic of it.



pam and i in front of the vueling counter in the barcelona airport. while waiting for our flight to madrid, we played around with this trolley. really childish, but was great fun haha.





touchdown! madrid's terminal 4 is even better than barcelona's, which had already impressed us. looks like paris CDG "alien colony in disguise" is one of the worst in the western europe. even heathrow wasnt as bad as far as i cld remember; it was ugly, but far easier to navigate within. we nearly missed our swissair flight to barcelona that morning because of the stupid shuttle bus driver. thats the irritating thing, the terminals are huge and we cldnt get from one terminal to another w/o taking e shuttle buses provided (due to the insane distance). i think we were supposed to go to terminal 2C, but that goon of a driver made a detour and we passed by all the other terminals twice before we arrived at ours past the take-off time. we were quite panicky by then, yet that wasnt all. once again, due to the french brilliance in doing things, we cldnt find where to check in our luggages, which was really easy at all the other airports. the signs were so confusing. USE MORE ALPHABETS my dear french retards. i know u guys are wonderful math geniuses, but to use only numbers to distinguish between check-in counters and boarding gates wld only serve to confuse. and nah, we dun wanna miss our flights as that wld entail having to be stuck in your alien colony while waiting for our next flight, and that is humanely impossible. luckily, thanks to the french efficiency (paradoxically enough), we were able to catch our flight as scores of other passengers were held back at the check-in counters. those idiots at the gates ought to be fired. they made checking-in such a pain, and such a slow process that many others cldnt check in on time.

ok time for work now. phew, blogging sure takes a long time, esp with pics. shall continue once i get e rest of e pics. out.
voilà! - Monday, January 08, 2007 -

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